So you know how you hear those horror stories about people who get stuck next to the most annoying person in the world for a 9-hour plane flight? I now have one of my very own, and, without sounding boastful, I think I can assure you that it was particularly horrific. From Miami to Santiago, I sat on the aisle of the central section of the plane. There was one interior seat, and then Annie Gonzalez was in the seat on the other aisle. Annie and I were actually hoping that no one would take the seat in the middle because it remained empty so long, but no, oh the joys of standby passengers.
His name was Michael, he was from Long Island, and he invited us to his wedding in two weeks. He also refused to shut up. Just to get a sense of him, here are a few classic Michael moments:
He offered me a “half” of one of his prescription sleeping pills, which he himself was chasing with beer and vodka in enormous quantities. He also peer pressured me more about drinking than anyone I have ever met.
He tipped the flight attendants telling them “don’t forget about me, I’m the most important person on the plane” and told Annie and I, “I own this plane, whatever you want, just let me know.”
He met his soon-to-be wife in Cancun where he went to party, and she worked as a massage therapist. She has made him a better person, which makes me wonder how he was before, because he’s apparently still a pill-popping alcoholic. Since then, he’s flown to Santiago 8,9,10, or 11 times. Each time he told the story (each of us got several renditions of the same material) the number changed.
I was reading with headphones on and he elbows me in the side, and says, “Hi.” To which I respond, “Hi” but in that why-are-you-bugging-me way. He follows up with, “you hate me, don’t you”
Michael did not shut up from the moment we climbed into the airplane at 11:15 until finally he passed out at 3:00. And he passed out halfway on top of me. Even the flight attendants felt sorry for me. Oh the joys of flying. But really, we should go to his wedding. No, really, it’ll be awesome.
People drive like MANIACS here, and sidewalks do not lend themselves to walking. I thought I was going to die about a billion times while I was in the car with my host dad. Especially when he turned around to tell me things.
I don’t actually have anything on trains. I’m sorry.
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